Amoeba

I had a little going away shindig before I came back to Tokyo. My big bro came and we had a little exchange that went something like this:

Big Bro: Are you still allergic to men?

Answer: No. Just to dating.

I should probably go on another one of Japan's finest group dates (goukon).

Odawara

First condom vending machine sighting!

I've got the Blues

I went to a place called Cafe Retro near Waseda with some friends for happy hour (50% off drinks! yes, please!). 

Some of the names on the menu were standard funny: 

-Angel Wind

-Angel Kiss

-Sidecar (is the color of a slug after you step on it)

And then there were the BLUES

-童貞Blues

-Virgin Blues

-Marriage Blues

-Maternity Blues

童貞 (Doutei) is a male virgin. How this is different from "virgin blues," I'm not exactly sure. Especially since none of these drinks came with descriptions of the actual drink. We didn't get around to ordering virgin blues. One of my friends ordered doutei blues and another got maternity blues. I'm pretty sure the waitress was blushing 100x more than the guys actually ordering them. 

Quick question: Who makes a drink called MATERNITY blues? 

Also, why were the "blues" drinks all RED? (see below)

unwanted attention

As many of you know, I recently went to India. Quick story I don't really want my parents to be reading:


In many areas, tourists get much unwelcome and unwanted attention from the local men... usually these tourists are the ones that are dressed horridly inappropriately and have fake blonde hair.. or so i thought... 


I was at the baby taj watching water buffalo frolic about and stood up to take a picture. As I was about to sit down, I looked down a little and saw a man and noticed that he was making this lip smacking noise at me. I HATE this noise... that's when I noticed that something was moving... like when you hold the end of a pencil and move your wrist up and down and the pencil looks like it's bending. That's when I realized that he was not only making this horrid sound at me, he was wagging his flacid penis while staring into my soul with his eyes. REALLY? REALLY? agh.


I'd heard some stories about my friends getting one whipped out on them, but never thought it would happen to me. I guess it's one of those things. I feel like I've gone through some initiation ritual and should now be an official member of "tourists who have seen too much" or some kind of similar club...

Thailand Edition

Of course they've prepared some condoms for you in Patong... I especially liked the the boxes that the condoms were in were clearly used over and over...

When we took the sky train, we always went to "On Nut" and we went "To Bang Sue" on the metro.

X-rated Vending Machines

All it really says is "open 24 hours" on the outside. Obviously, I had to check it out.

Vending machines lining either side selling all types of adult goods. The ones on the left only light up when you stand right in front of them! how high tech... yet wouldn't the internet be more high tech and convenient? I wonder what it would be like to run into someone you knew in one of these. awk starfish!

Club Atom

We went to Shibuya to go to a club- after kind of wandering around, we settled on Club Atom. 

Here are some awesome signs and etc that we took while in line:

The girls seemed to have heard about alcatraz er before. I have to say that it has never come up in my personal life. Still confused as to what it is.

After dancing all night, we went to McDonalds (at 5am) to get something to drink and a little snack. We liked the messages on the cups. Perhaps our minds just end up in the gutter after dancing the night away.

The people there were clapping together as part of the "dance" that goes with the song. It especially killed my soul when they were jumping up and down to rap music. sigh. I had lots of fun, though. Great for stress relief.

Funny stats

I am updating my other blog like crazy, while I was on blogger today, I found this blog. Check it out. 

Why? Well, for starters, the title of this entry is "the beer belly of america". 

http://www.floatingsheep.org/2010/02/beer-belly-of-america.html

and while we're on the subject, here's their entry on pizza... oh and strip clubs.

http://www.floatingsheep.org/2010/02/great-american-pizza-map.html

Coffee

Need a closer look?

It's the hot blend.

Oh, PS they have very little concept of being PC here. Please find below a sign we ran into while trying to find a bar. Note the kind of music that they play. I wans't aware that that was a genre...

And in case the coffee wans't enough. Check out their ice cream!

I feel like Lil' Jon would appreciate this one.

fashion mag and pikachu

Chanel would be proud... or is currently turning in her grave

2-in-1

Oh kids, look what's happening to your beloved character. 

BTW that wine says "Happy Wine" on it.

For the rest of this day: http://lovelotslaughoften.blogspot.com/2010/02/dinner-at-nini-and-nanas.html

Korean Engrish

Just noticed this: A Warm Life through Culture...

Hard-off

It's a little hard to see, but look at the top left corner of that sign... can anyone tell me what a "hard-off" is?

There's a used bookstore chain called "Book-off," but something tells me that this is not the same thing.

Bathroom Humor- Enrgish Style

In case you are tense, I hope that this eco-friendly toilet will calm you down with its "soothing sound and the deodorant effect"

When stepping out of the stall, "please note the difference of one's feet"

Love Land- Jeju, Korea

So, the lovely little part of my Korean adventure that I had to leave out was Love Land on Jeju Island, Korea. Luckily, you can read all about it on this blog!! By read, I mean look at the pictures...

I'm going to start you with the story of the pigs to ease you into loveland:

Hey, nice to meet you! Let's be friends.

I think I like you... *kiss*

Just a little whiff...

got a little drunk one night and...

Just the tip, I swear!

#&$@)(*#&@....

ok, so that was the story of the pigs.

Here's one of the signs that tells you which way to go...

I couldn't really read it, but I pretty much got the point.

aaaaaaand it leads you to...

This was HUGE. I could probably walk under it with no problems.

Thirsty?

Actually, one of them was leaking a little so I went ahead and turned him off

Which way is the wind blowing today...

Toward giant boobs!

and a gigantic peen fountain to match

The cut-outs are slightly different in this part of town...

signs of caution....

bench

This was titled "a man and his dog"

they are both hooking up and giving each other the peace sign.

Does this remind anyone else of the Family Guy Episode where Stewie kills Lois? (well, the one right after)

bathroom

All joking aside, though, my travel companions and I found it very interesting to find such an art exhibit here in Korea. I think that we all have this image of Asians being traditionally fairly uptight- even if it's just a front. There was definitely a different atmosphere here. I thought that the demographics for this place would be immature 20-somethings, not unlike myself. What i found, however, was a very diverse crowd. Even 3 middle aged Korean women were wandering about, looking at the exhibits quite earnestly. Maybe it was just me, but  I felt that people were more friendly. Not as in they would come up and talk to you, but they didn't have this half angry look of "don't you dare talk to me" and instead almost everyone was smiling and joking around with friends.

Read about the PG parts of my day here:

http://lovelotslaughoften.blogspot.com/2010/01/jeju-day-2.html

New Blog!

So I have a nice G rated blog to tell you all about my nice little adventures with parasols and heels. This one is for the times that I go out, or see some inappropriate Engrish.... a little story to get you started.


I'm currently grading entrance exams for the university that I work at. The exams are pretty much just a series of boxes that the students write random vocabulary words in. A couple have caught me off guard. 
Correct Answer: ELECTRICIAN
Prospective Student's Answer: erection


Correct Answer: SNEEZING
Prospective Student's Answer: blowing


I also overheard a conversation where a prospective student called the department of english to ask if it would be necessary for her to purchase a computer to do coursework at this school. WTF.